Did you by any chance go to Co***el Fr**k S***y School in Cal***ton?

Email me back if you did!

Do you remember me?

[signed their name]

Someone from school saw my forwarded email and has sent me a message. I guess this is what being famous must be like. Here's the reply I didn't send because it made me look a bit bitter:

Hey [Their Name]

I did go to C*S school, and how could I forget you! I still have the scar from the time you punched me so hard in the face that my teeth punctured though my cheek and began to protrude on the outside!

How are you mate?

Regards, Jez.